Ghosting, Benching, Love-bombing, Gaslighting and Moonlighting in organizations!￼
The what and how of new age terminologies in the HR world — by Ramdas Shenoy from stirfryMBA.com
When Wipro Chairman Rishad Premji called Moonlighting as cheating, I was wondering what is this all about only to find out that Mohandas Pai, Ex Infosys Director calling it as the new norm for the Indian IT industry. The terms intrigued me further and I landed on more terms where it is all about manipulation in human relations extending to the corporate world. On the face of it the words sound very positive and that is how traditionally these words are associated with.
“How sweet the moonlight sleeps upon this bank!, Here will we sit and let the sounds of music. Creep in our ears; soft stillness and the night. Become the touches of sweet harmony. Sit, Jessica. Look how the floor of heaven is thick inlaid with patens of bright gold”—never would have William Shakespeare thought that one day, people will use moonlight as a metaphor for cheating.
If you need some ideas about what to read next, here they are:
Let us try to decipher what these terminologies mean–
‘Benchers’ are the people who are not committed, and who keep their options open. They could be job seekers, who wait for the right option and are on constant look out for better options or prospects. They are not committed to any relationships. They are always in a state, where they keep thinking that there is always something better out there, and you will not be able to woo them for great opportunities. The best way to deal with benchers is to have an honest conversation about expectations and terms of the relationship, hold one another accountable for following through on the promises. In this situation, “actions speak louder than words”.
‘Ghosting’ is when the senior managers want to actually let go some team members. What they do is to completely cut off connections with reduced communication and more of ignoring, taking away responsibilities and finally creating an environment, where the people who are ghosted are shocked and confused about where it all went wrong and finally get into a look out mode and leave the organization.
Love bombing is where when a new team member gets all the attention, love and care with all the goodies, attention, compliments. It is too good to be true in a business environment. It is only when the victim realizes that they become too involved with the work and office that they start neglecting their home space and the abuser starts controlling the game. The team member will then become emotionally attached to the job and becomes ready to do anything to be associated with the team.
Gas Lighting is when in a team, a member is actually a performer, but the manipulators in the team will build an environment and story with a strong argument and supporting evidence that creates self-doubt, that they over analyze things and slowly they lose confidence and the game. The victim loses faith in their decision making and they become a worst performer.
And now, about Moonlighting, where you commit or try to get engaged with two people at the same time. In this context an employee takes dual employment on similar job role. This is being seen by the employers as cheating. One school of thought supports moonlighting as a freedom to do whatever you want after official work hours.
Regardless of what these terms are , they are all forms of manipulation—of the system or individuals. Somewhere, it is abusing relationships.